Disciple Like Jesus for Parents

Disciple Like Jesus for Parents by Alan Melton and Paul Dean, is a fantastic book.  If you are a Christian and want to raise your children to love the Lord, this book has some wonderful advice to help you disciple (teach and train) your children like Jesus.  I recommend it to all Christian parents.

As a relatively new mom, I learned so much from this book.  The advice comes from the Bible and scripture is quoted throughout the book.  The authors point to how Jesus taught his disciples and give you a biblical blueprint to follow in raising your children.  

I learned practical ways to apply the advice, such as how important it is that I'm with my children more than I am away from them.  Jesus was always with his disciples. Mark 3:14 (NIV): He appointed twelve that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach.  Jesus did not send his disciples away to the temples, for example, to train them.  He taught them, Jesus was with them, and they learned from him. Once they were ready, he sent them out on their own. God gave children parents to love them and teach them. We are to build a community with our children and this book gives lots of examples on how to do that.

If you are serious about your faith and want to pass along your love for the Lord onto to your children, read this book. It will probably encourage you in your own walk of faith as well.

So You're Thinking about Homeschooling

My child is almost 2 and I know some of you may be thinking, why are you reading a book about homeschooling?  Well, I think education is very important.  Considering that I would like to have more than one child, private school may be out of the question.  Not that I have a problem with public schools, I have some wonderful friends who are awesome teachers, but there are some not so great school districts.  I am also a huge planner, I like to plan way ahead and research so I can feel confident about the decisions I make when they come up.  I have also met some wonderful people while living in Germany who homeschool.  Since I didn't know much about it I thought I would see if the library had any books on the topic and I picked up this one.

So You're Thinking about Homeschooling, by Lisa Whelchel, is a fantastic educational book about homeschooling. Whelchel's writing style is light and cheerful.  She takes you through the door of fifteen families and lets "them" explain to you how they homeschool and why.  You read about the mother of several children, the homeschooling dad, the grandparents who homeschool, a mom who takes her child with her to work and homeschools, and many other situations.  You also learn about the different homeschooling methods: The Charlotte Mason Method; The Classical Approach; Computer-Based Curriculum; The Principle Approach; using Traditional Textbooks; using Unit Studies; Unschooling; Video Schooling; and more.

Lisa Whelchel bluntly states that she is not trying to convince you to homeschool.  Nor does she believe that homeschooling is for everyone.  However, she is pro-homeschooling and I believe the purpose of her book is to teach you more about homeschooling to see if it something that would work for you and your family. 

I will tell you, after reading So You're Thinking About Homeschooling, I am truly thinking about homeschooling.  I have done additional research besides reading this book and there are so many positives to homeschooling.  If you are thinking about homeschooling or are interested in learning more, this would be a good book for you to read.

Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood

Are you tired of yelling at your kids?  If so, read this book.  Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood, by Jim Fay and Charles Fay, Ph.D. is a wonderful parenting book.  This book is geared for parents of children from birth to age 6.  They have other books if your child is older and you want to try the love and logic approach.  However, if you start young, you will save yourself a lot of grief later on. 

I love how the love and logic approach works.  No more yelling, no more repeating yourself.  One of the first steps to this approach is making deposits in your child's life by giving them lots of choices.  This way they gain healthy control over their lives and learn to think for themselves.  The choices you give them do not hurt anyone else, are choices you approve of, and can be fun.  Such as, "would you like to go to the park or stay home and play."  "Would you like milk or water to drink for lunch?"

When it's time for you to make a decision, such as asking your child to clean up their room.  You give your child one chance, if they choose not to obey, then there is an age-appropriate consequence.  Such as, "feel free to pick up the toys you want to keep."   Then the toys that your child doesn't pick up, you pick up and say, "how sad, how would you like pay for your toys?"  If they need help deciding offer some suggestions.  Then they earn back their toys by helping you with chores.  Obviously, this example is for older toddler/preschooler, but you can start teaching your child how to pick up their toys early on by helping them and gradually letting them do it by themselves. Then once you are consistent with the consequences you will naturally eliminate many of the problems you are having.  What kid wants their toys taken away?  If they don't care or don't want to earn them back then get rid of them.  Also by only asking once and giving them one chance you are preparing them for the real world.  Most of life you only get one chance.  If you take your eyes off the road for a few seconds to look at your phone and a tire in the road comes flying at you, you may have lost your chance to safely get out of the way.  The police officer who pulls you over for speeding usually will not give you a warning but will write you a ticket, and so on.

To use the loving approach, first show your child empathy by stating something like "how sad" or "bummer" then state the the consequence.

If your child whines or yells at you.  Simply teach them that you do not listen to whining or yelling and will listen to them when their voice is as calm as yours.  Then ignore their behavior until they use a calm voice like yours.

You do not have to yell or raise your voice to get your child's attention.  Using a soft voice works wonders. Not losing your temper makes parenting a lot easier.  And you know what?  Your child will listen.  I have been using the methods in this book for a about a month and it is amazing how well it is working on my 22 month old.  If you want to learn more, read this book.  It is probably one of my favorite parenting books. Simple to use, loving, it builds responsibility in your child, and it works!

Perfect Parenting

Being a "perfect" parent and always knowing how to handle difficult situations with your child(ren) is impossible.  However, with the help of Elizabeth Pantley's Perfect Parenting: The Dictionary of 1,000 Parenting Tips, you will become better prepared.  

Perfect Parenting consists of three books divided into three parts.  The book lists common problems and situations that may occur while raising children.  The situations are alphabetized for easy reference.  Pantley takes a situation such as CHORES, how to get them done, and gives an example situation, followed by Think About It, giving you, the parent, encouragement to act, ending with several solutions to try.  If you don't like one or two solutions, try another.  Her actions are short and brief which makes her books easy to refer to when a problem arises.  There is so much great information in this book.  If you are a parent, buy it.

The 7 O'Clock Bedtime

The 7 O'Clock Bedtime: Early to bed, early to rise, makes a child healthy, playful, and wise by Inda Schaenen is a good book.  While it was not exactly all that I was hoping it would be it did have several good points on helping your children go to bed earlier.  It was also packed with a lot of research on the benefits of an early bedtime for children.  In order to achieve the 7 o'clock bedtime, your family will have to alter their lifestyle completely to work around your child's bedtime.  I agree that most Americans are not getting enough sleep, especially children.  However, depending on the ages of your children getting them all to sleep by 7 o'clock is not always feasible.

I liked her concept of an earlier bedtime a lot.  One thing I thought was somewhat disturbing was she only bathes her kids once a week to help get them in bed earlier except if she thinks they are really dirty.  I know there are a lot of cultures who do not bath very often but once a week doesn't sound that great.  I think I would rather start the nighttime routine earlier or aim to have my child in bed by 7:30 so he's clean.  Or if giving your children a bath at night is too hard to work it, why not bathe them in the morning?

Also, I was hoping for a few more tips on getting a young child to sleep earlier.  I have a one year old and the earliest we have been able to get him to sleep is 7:30pm.  She used the Ferber method with her children while my family uses the attached parenting method.  Is there really no other way to get your child to sleep earlier than letting them cry it out?  Especially babies.  There are lots of ways to help your child go to sleep without leaving your young baby to cry themselves to sleep.

Overall I think this is a good read and I agree with her philosophy overall that our kids need more sleep.  I guess it's like anything, if you want to achieve something you have to sacrifice something else and not plan anything too late in the day or evening.  Not to mention there are some families that are unable to get their children to bed by 7pm because of the parents' work schedule.  If you look at the bottom line, children need more sleep, then I think however you achieve the maximum amount of sleep for your child is great.

What Every Child Needs

What Every Child Needs by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall was given to me at one of my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meetings.  This book is mainly written to new mothers, although fathers could learn from it too.  

This book reads like a parenting manual.  It emphasizes the nine basic needs each child has for love and how to give and show these kinds of love to your child.  The nine basic needs mentioned in the book are: Security, Belonging, Guidance, Play, Affirmation, Discipline, Respect, Independence, and Hope.  As a new mom, I am constantly searching for direction.  This book helped break down motherhood and gave a lot of examples of how I can be a great mom just by being myself.  Not only does the book give examples of how to love your child it also gives ideas if you are having difficulty showing your child love. I now have more confidence and know-how on showing and giving my child the love he needs.  I highly recommend this book.